It seems to be the hardest thing to do, but when someone dear to you dies, use the energy of the moment to contemplate about death and recognise the essence of life. Allow feelings manifest and transform into compassion and love as for the dying person, so for yourself, your family, relatives, or friends. Such an emotional moment is like a hammer shattering the doors to your most intimate self.
Thereupon, you suddenly, if only for a short time, become wide open and receptive to everything. This will help you recognise the pain and the fear of losing, even where you would not expect it - among those who, protected by the ego-built steel armours, walk around this world, seeming heartless and ignorant. You will find that everyone is directly or indirectly affected by what you perceive as a personal tragedy, and the wave of compassion and love will be set free to embrace all existences, regardless of their form.